24th October 2017

3.4 In A Foreign Setting

As above so below. As above my scorched frizzled hair covered head, a blue sensation coats the sky without one single imperfection. With the immense rays of sunshine hitting every point below that is in sight, my eyes squint to eliminate the glares. Even through the cheap market stall bought sunglasses the sun causes my eyes to hid themselves away. From what I can see, a mix of trees and colourful buildings surround my vision. Nothing the same but everything so similar. The strong smell of vanilla grabs my attention, vanilla ice cream from pretty much every ice cream store in vision. Dripping down toddlers hands the sticky, now warm ice-cream, tongues out indulging the oversized scooped ball placed upon a weak waffle cone, laughter shared with groups of people, the happiness from the simplest of things, an ice-cream. Intrigued I walk towards the store directly in front of me. My feet on the cold surface below makes me want to stay in there forever. The longer my nose adjusts to the smells of the ice creams the longer my wish was to never leave. Greeted by the typical Noosa greeting, “g’day,” after the small chat from the bubbly man behind the counter and receiving the ice cream I bore the heat that was soon to hit stepping foot out the door. Strolling the lively streets marveling at the many welcoming faces that passed, followed by the chorus of “g’days” as if they are all too friendly to be believable. To passive to actually be engaging.

As my hesitant steps along the searing pavement get further and further away from the noise and the chaos, I find myself now surrounded by layers of greenery. Succulent diverse arrangements of plants hold themselves in line formations as if they were a guidance for the unknown people who stroll past them day by day. Fingers pointing eyes intrigued, to what are presumed tourists everywhere, admire what is before their eyes. Camera’s out, left right and centre eager to hold the conversation starter image of ‘the family trip to Noosa’. A competition for the cameras, a fight for the best picture. Tickling my bare ankles and my sun-kissed arms the flora, as I can’t help but smell the salty sea air followed by the juicy eucalyptus plants everywhere. The feeling of being connected. Startled by an “Oh sorry”, followed by a slight cooler breeze my arm is brushed by a warm, sweat soaked shoulder. A friendly smile is swapped with a stranger. A some what friendly encounter with a stranger. 

As above so below my scorched fried feet I seek for some shade but perhaps water is the better option. In the near distance waves slowly roll in, transient but always there, always moving, a rhythmic percussion. Coating the helpless sand pulling it away, over and over, in and out, in and out. Burning grains of sand stick to the soles of my feet and pretty much everywhere else on my sticky bronzed body, with the slight pain from the burning alerting my senses. Nothing but sand. Nothing but sand and water. Closer I see the wide awake ocean, the sleepless ocean. Engaging my paralysed feet the peaceful water runs in multiple directions over them bringing the slightest smile upon my face. Eyes, slowly and carefully, rise up from my feet admiring the ever changing movement of the ocean that meets the water line, hundreds and hundreds of meters away. Nothing to be seen but the color blue. Nothing to smell but the slight evidence of salt on the back of my tongue. Nothing to feel but complete calmness and the oxygen entering sand leaving my parched mouth and nothing to hear but nothing.

Join the conversation! 1 Comment

  1. Jenaya, there is effective imagery in places of this writing, however:
    1) Please lengthen the narrative to be at least 600 words.
    2) Consider where additional paragraphs breaks may be used when the piece is finished.
    3) Watch beginning your sentences with similar vocabulary. Are all of these words needed? Watch “spelling out” all of the details for the reader; can you imply what is going on without giving the reader everything?
    4) Minor technical errors are here- try to correct these.
    * This piece is due by the end of the day.


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